Don’t be the nice girl who finishes last

Please don’t.

TMI warning, Safe For Work but really embarrassing.

When I was in 2nd grade, my arrived at school late. When we got there, someone had set up a table with some sign in sheets or something so that could sign in and not be marked as tardy. All the students got off the bus and lined up to sign in.

For some deranged reason, I started letting everyone cut in front of me in line. I’m not sure why, but by that young age I’d already internalized some sick belief¬†that my place in life was behind everybody else. ¬†As more students arrived even after my bus had departed, I still kept allowing the new arrivals to cut in front of me in line. I was just trying to be “nice.”

What the entire hell.

A teacher had to come by and stop me from letting anyone else cut in front of me.

What exactly was wrong with me? Why did I think I was doing a good thing?

What did I believe made me so special that out of everyone present that day, I was Chosen To Be Last?

Why did I feel like I was doing what God wanted?

girl, child, black

Dear Little Girl,

Hold on to your rightful place.

Don’t move back for anyone. Don’t step down for anyone.

Step forward, step up, and show up for your own life.

Be great. Have fun.

Live.

 

Love,

Me.